My name is Matt and I enjoy long dubious strokes of my mustache fuzz.
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/
Reblogged from talesofandy  351,757 notes
Reblogged from talesofandy  119,352 notes

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

Reblogged from talesofandy  180,120 notes
listenly:

s-un-rise:

sparkhy:

funkily:

awkwarddly:

bambive:

My mom sat down in the grass and she took of her beautiful expensive coat. She saw one of her friends and went to say hi. When she came back her coat was gone and she was crying. 
My mom was searching for her coat, while it was raining.
My dad (who had a huge crush on her) saw her and ran up to the closest shop and bought her this jacket, he said to her: ” I know this isn’t your beautiful coat, but I couldn’t afford any other and I don’t want you to get cold “. 
My mom kissed him, in the rain and that same year they married on New Year’s Eve.
And now, 35 years later my mom gave the jacket to me and said: ” losing something good can only give you something better instead and baby, losing that damn coat was the best thing that ever happened to me ”

I love this

Love this

awwww

cutest story

listenly:

s-un-rise:

sparkhy:

funkily:

awkwarddly:

bambive:

My mom sat down in the grass and she took of her beautiful expensive coat. She saw one of her friends and went to say hi. When she came back her coat was gone and she was crying. 

My mom was searching for her coat, while it was raining.

My dad (who had a huge crush on her) saw her and ran up to the closest shop and bought her this jacket, he said to her: ” I know this isn’t your beautiful coat, but I couldn’t afford any other and I don’t want you to get cold “. 

My mom kissed him, in the rain and that same year they married on New Year’s Eve.

And now, 35 years later my mom gave the jacket to me and said: ” losing something good can only give you something better instead and baby, losing that damn coat was the best thing that ever happened to me ”

I love this

Love this

awwww

cutest story

Reblogged from shipwrightkaku  164,179 notes
myotpisgay:

nottheshepardyourelookingfor:

tabbybeard:

tramampoline:

baxtavius:

How low? This is really convenient, especially in Canada where it’s negative asshole degrees out. Besides, sometimes you do need your phone while walking outside, whether for light or communication or directions.

like i’ve needed to text people while outside several times this week i’d rather not literally risk frostbite to do it

durr hburr techonology is bad fire is scary and thomas edison was a witch

I want that last line on a shirt

myotpisgay:

nottheshepardyourelookingfor:

tabbybeard:

tramampoline:

baxtavius:

How low? This is really convenient, especially in Canada where it’s negative asshole degrees out. Besides, sometimes you do need your phone while walking outside, whether for light or communication or directions.

like i’ve needed to text people while outside several times this week i’d rather not literally risk frostbite to do it

durr hburr techonology is bad fire is scary and thomas edison was a witch

I want that last line on a shirt